#128 Hard Sell- T. Coraghessan Boyle

#128 Hard Sell- T. Coraghessan Boyle

An American PR man is hired by the Ayatollah to clean up his image. I remember a piece a few months ago I read by Jennifer Egan about a similar topic called Selling the General. Both kind of played on stereotypes and were a bit unbelievable, but I think this one was supposed to be a bit cartoonish. Thus I liked this one a bit better, it didn’t take itself so seriously.

To start with, this is the description of one of the Ayatollah’s body men: “…this guy with the face of a thousand fists.”

The problems start with an interpreter that warns the PR rep, Bob, about his tone. It seems that the interpreter was Harvard educated and sees right through the BS immediately and is generally offended by the American crassness. Bob, is the epitome of a loud mouthed, American had-talking, shit-slinging PR man. He is also completely tone-deaf when it comes to culture:

“What a joke, huh? They don’t have Tanqueray, Bob. Or rocks either. They don’t have Beefeater’s or Gordon’s—they don’t have a bar, for christsake. Can you believe it—the whole damn county, the cradle of civilization and it’s dry.”

He brings in his own interpreter to make sure what he says gets in the ear of the Ayatollah, and he believes he is making progress. However that is not likely, his advice to the Ayatollah is to take off his religious clothes, wear an Italian suit, shave his beard and remove his religious head garb.  Talk about not knowing your audience.

Rating: 8-7-7-7 Total= 29

#127 Boot- Reginald McKnight

#127 Boot- Reginald McKnight

An old Marine Corps. Private is telling the story of his boot camp.

“You fear the [drill instructor]; you fear looking like a puss in front of the other boots; you fear shaming your family. You fear going to jail. It’s that fear that keeps seventy-five recruits with loaded m-16s from shooting their drill instructors to fucking rags.”

He was his squad’s best marksman. He was told by his Drill Instructor to take the marksmen tests for other recruits so that his squad’s marks would be high enough to get the DI a promotion. When found out, he was caught between being loyal to his DI or loyal to the Corps. He failed both and his future was shot.

I feel like I’ve read this story before, probably several times, seen the TV show and the movie. It’s hard to make marine stories new. This year I read Redeployment, Phil Klay’s collection of short stories about the Marines. Almost everything would pale next to those.

Rating: 6-5-6-5 Total= 22

#126 Sredni Vashtar- Saki (H.H. Munro)

#126 Sredni Vashtar- Saki (H.H. Munro)

“Conradin was ten years old, and the doctor had pronounced his professional opinion that the boy would not live another five years.”

“One of these days Conradin supposed he would succumb to the mastering pressure of wearisome necessary things—such as illness and coddling restrictions and drawn-out dullness. Without his imagination, which was rampant under the spur of loneliness, he would have succumbed long ago.”

A doomed, lonely child with a wonderful imagination. He has a guardian that is strict and nobody but himself to keep busy. He keeps a ferret that he has dubbed a God, Sredni Vashtar. The guardian is skeptical of the child’s secret and takes the key that will unlock his secret. He prays that his God will escape these evil forces:

Sredni Vashtar went forth,

His thoughts were red thoughts and his teeth were white.

His enemies called for peace, but he brought them death.

Sredni Vashtar the beautiful

They accidentally allow his pet to escape and worry that they have ruined the one thing he cares about, but he is excited that his God has been set free.

Notable Passage: “The few fruit trees that it contained were set jealously apart from his plucking.”

Rating: 8-7-9-10 Total= 35

#125 Weekend- Amy Hempel

#125 Weekend- Amy Hempel

I was going to skip over some of the really short pieces in these collections, but I decided not to. It’s important to see the whole short fiction genre in its entirety. A 70-page stream of consciousness ramble from David Foster Wallace next to a 3-page evening newspaper vignette from O. Henry is a tough comparison, but why do they have to be compared. I can enjoy them both.

Thus I give you Weekend by Amy Hempel. A short stage-setting piece that begins her collection, Tumble Home. It’s just a glimpse of a lazy summer outing. A softball game with no score and gin drinks splashing while running to first. “The game was called on account of dogs.”

“The Hunter retrieved a foul ball and carried it off in the direction of the river. The other dogs followed—barking, mutinous.”

This is such a delicate style of writing, you want to slow down, and savor it like the last sip of lemonade while the sun goes down.

Rating: 9-6-7-8 Total= 30

#124 Radio Gannet- Shena Mackay

#124 Radio Gannet- Shena Mackay

“Norma had five children and fourteen grandchildren, thus ensuring that she had somebody to worry about at any given moment.” Her sister Dolly had a hip radio program. She was the favorite, their “father always indulged Dolly.”

Her radio program was at “the wrong end of the dial.” Just like her type lived on the wrong side of the town, Eastcliff-on-Sea. “…Fame, Dolly knew, came with a price. Like every celebrity, she had attracted a stalker.”

Norma resented Dolly, was embarrassed by her. “Dolly inhabits a parallel universe.” Her existence was like an asteroid hitting the earth.

This story seems like it came out of a notebook, unfinished, unpolished, undeveloped. At least that's how it hit my ears, just left me with nothing solid at the end.

Rating: 6-6-5-4 Total= 21