#544 Attack of the Love Dogma- Toure

#544 Attack of the Love Dogma- Toure

Mojo is on a date with a beautiful blonde woman. They are having a wonderful time, and they are both feeling like this could be something real.

“He was the smartest guy she’d ever met. She was more at peace than anyone he’d ever known. He loved her lips. She loved his hands. It was too early for promises, but promise was in the air.”

They wanted to continue their date, but Mojo was worried.

“Black and Blonde together in Soul City? He knew better. He knew as every boy who grows up in Soul City knows, that if you were in Soul City with a blonde after dark, the Love Dogma would get ya.”

And that’s exactly what happened when they parked for some ice cream. Mojo got yanked out of his car by a snatch squad and was taken directly to Dr. Ziggaboo at the Love Dogma’s Reassignment Center. Here they took black men that had a blonde obsession and reminded them about black beauty. Like something out of 1984 this Orwellian re-education program that was creepy and over the top. Mojo got out just in time. All he wanted was a chance to see if this woman was the real deal.

Rating: 7-8-8-7 Total= 30

#467 A Hot Time at the Church of Kentucky Fried Souls and the Spectacular Final Sunday Sermon of the Right Revren Daddy Love- Toure

#467 A Hot Time at the Church of Kentucky Fried Souls and the Spectacular Final Sunday Sermon of the Right Revren Daddy Love- Toure

As if you couldn’t already tell by the title, we are back in Toure’s fictional metropolis of Soul City. Can’t you feel it? Today is a sad day in Soul City. Today is the funeral of the much beloved and equally maligned Revren Daddy Love.

“Daddy Love had not been a young person for many years, but he had made himself into a force of nature so great that people were shocked to discover that dying was something he could do.”

“Daddy Love was colossal, Freckles on his high-yellow skin as large as dimes, a belly as great as a jumbo TV, a mouth that made mailboxes jealous, and a frame so titanic he would just swallow a girl up with one of his patented postservice hugs.”

Daddy Love, as his name suggests, was a ladies man. Having had a go at nearly all the woman of his congregation no matter their looks or marital status. “Daddy Love’s love was as blind as faith and as democratic as the sun.”

There is a ton of dark humor, social commentary and great satire in here, but it’s also just great fun stuff to read. Daddy Love’s church was St. Valentine’s Blessed Temple of Godly Love, Sanctified Ascension, and the Holy Glissando, located in Brooklyn at the corner of Grace Street and Divine Avenue in an abandoned Kentucky Fried Chicken.

“And after a while people came to like using the drive-in window for confession.”

Sometimes faith, love, wrong, righteous, sin, and heaven are all the same thing, wrapped up in a man that is quite literally “Larger Than Life.”

Rating: 8-9-9-8 Total= 34

#446 The Steviewondermobile- Toure

#446 The Steviewondermobile- Toure

We are in Toure’s invented municipality, Soul City. “Soul City was a place where God entered through the speakers and love was measured in decibles.” There were at least twenty-five verified religions in Soul City, all based on Soul music of course.

Huggy Bear Jackson was a Stevie-ite (as were his buddies Mojo, Boozoo, and Groovy Lou) and built a mobile shrine to his idol. The vehicle that cruised Freedom Street or Funky Boulevard would break down all the time, couldn’t go more than twenty five and guzzled gas, but it had a kickin’ sound system that would only play Stevie Wonder. It was rigged so that any other music was put in, it would be immediately spit out. Now, That’s musical devotion!

This collection is going to be a blast!

“But it was Huggy Bear’s world and in Huggy Bear’s world the music could never die. So he sat in the Steveiewondermobile, stuck at the corner of Freedom and Rhythm, chilling with Groovy Lou and Boozoo to the soaring sounds of Stevie’s seamless soul stew and the world he saw with his so wonderfully clear inner vision.”

Rating: 7-8-7-7 Total= 29