Sunday, December 27, 2015

#341 Ado- Connie Willis


#341 Ado- Connie Willis

It’s springtime and the English Lit teacher is about to begin her section on Shakespeare. However, in this period of time, due to oversensitivity, most literature has been banned or halted by injunction. Just by announcing the start of Shakespeare, protests sprung up.

“Delilah was outside the school when I got there, wearing a red Seniors Against Devil Worship in the Schools t-shirt and shorts. She was carrying a picket sign that said ‘Shakespeare is Satan’s spokesman.’ Shakespeare and Satan were both misspelled.”

Trying to figure out which works were still allowed, the teacher and principle sifted through the objections:

-The Royal Society for the Divine Rights of Kings objected to Richard III because there was no proof that he has killed the princess…they in fact objected to all the plays about Kings.

-Angry Woman’s Alliance objected to the Taming of the Shrew, Merry Wives of Windsor, Romeo & Juliet, and Love’s Labor Lost.

-The American Bar Associating objected to The Merchant of Venice…as did Morticians International due to defaming of the word casket.

-The Sierra Club objected to As You Like It because Orlando carves Rosalind’s name into a tree.

ETC.

They settle on Hamlet but now must go line-by-line taking out any and all objectionable lines. What they have left amounts to a few lines of nonsense.

“Hamlet…is that the one about the guy whose uncle murders the king and then the queen marries the uncle?”
“Not any more.”

Somewhere in here is a great idea for a satirical look at censorship in education, but this widely misses the mark. It follows a formulaic spiral down the slippery slope of the rabbit hole. The end, where another group gets a court order to make Delilah change her sign and she angrily asks: “What’s happening to our right to freedom of speech”—is so cliché it’s, almost a pun. I guess with such rich subject matter, I was hoping for a little more edge, a little more bite, more nuance. Maybe the editor cut those things out.


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