#809 Fifty Ways to Eat Your Lover- Amelia Gray
Ok, another fun one from Amelia Gray. Not exactly a short story, but creative enough to include in the blog. As the title suggests, this is a list of fifty ways to…well, eat your lover. I dare you not to think of the Paul Simon song.
-When he buys you a drink, plunge a knife into his nose and carve out a piece.
-When he asks you out again, stab him with a box cutter and suck the wound.
-When he moves his books into your apartment, take a grater to his knuckles.
-When he asks you to marry him, panfry his foreskin.
-When he says goodbye, eat his heart out.
You get the point. There are fifty of these wonderful recipes. You may look at this and see strong feminist commentary, and you’d probably be right to see that. But you could also just read this several times in a row and laugh your ass off, because that’s what I just did,
“Hop on bus Gus, you don’t need to discuss much….” See, it’s in my head!
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